An hour ago I packed up my little apartment and walked to the prayer room under the starry sky for my final time here before I fly home.
It has been some week.
Beautiful in its fullness, but yet also at times raw and undoing and filled with the battles for breakthrough and understanding that come when you put yourself in the voluntary wilderness to learn how to lean a little more on Jesus.
It’s been a week of wrestling, a week of dealing-with-stuff, a week of letting Holy Spirit pull out all He needed to in my heart, and to undo me again and again. A week of allowing Him to reorganise the way I see things and to lay all my dreams at His feet. A week of balling my eyes out and pressing through to find true joy.
Honestly, the sermon last night was on how God loves us with the same love He has for Jesus, and the same love that exists in the Trinity. That just wrecked me for hours. Because the truth in that changes absolutely everything.
And as I sit and contemplate Him this morning, I am sweetly at peace.
In His Presence.
And truly realising that only love remains.
Because only Love remains.
And I still can’t quite get my head around just how much His heart burns with love for me. That I am the desire of His affections. That His mercy restores me in a deeper way than I can ever deserve or understand. That I bring Him joy. That He rejoices when I find my joy in Him.
And when I think about the men and women that He mercifully grafted into His plans and purposes in the Bible I see again and again that in His ways redemption is greater than perfection.
Jacob the deceiver, and Rahab the harlot, and Moses the murderer, and Tamar the unloved, and Ruth the excluded… All grafted into His perfect plan of redemption.
By the God who delights to show mercy.
Who delights in us.
I am undone.
That this God of all love and mercy I don’t deserve is also the God of promise.
I love Him so much.
And He loves me so well.
As I begin my journey home in an hour or so, I’ll leave you with some beautiful lyrics, and some of the pictures that have been coming out of my meditations of redemption.
P.s. I’ll be so glad to be home! I needed to come to this place and wrestle and receive and ‘be’, but I sure have missed y’all more than I could ever say! (Had to get one last ‘y’all’ in there!) Lots of cups of tea and catch ups this week?!?
You sought me out and found me, when I was lost and I was drowning. You loosed the chains that bound me, and You set me free.
You are my first love, You are my only One, Lord there is nothing else for me. Where else can I go? You have my heart alone. You are the only home I know.