When You think of me…

 

Today I came to Psalm 51 in my morning reading of the Psalms.

I love this Psalm.

I really do.

Written by King David in the hour of his greatest shame and His deepest remorse, it encapsulates the genuine cry of our repentance, when as sinners we come into the Presence of a Mighty, Holy God, painfully aware of our deep, dark failure, and fall on His mercy and His love and the grace that cost Him everything.

Have mercy upon me, O God according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly (and repeatedly) from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin! For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgement. Behold, I was brought forth in (a state of) iniquity; my mother was sinful who conceived me (and I too am sinful). Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore know wisdom in my inmost heart. Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean (ceremonially); wash me, and I shall (in reality) be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Your Presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors You ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness and death, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness (Your rightness and Your justice). O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Your praise. For You delight not in sacrifice, or else I would give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering. My sacrifice (the sacrifice acceptable) to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart (broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent), such, O God, You will not despise. Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion; rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem. Then will You delight in the sacrifices of righteousness, justice, and right, with burnt offering…

But I love this.

It shows us our need of forgiveness. Our need to change. The hopelessness of our humanity.

But more than that, it shows us the fullness in the rescue-plan of a Heavenly Father who delights to bring His children home to Him.

Because God’s heart is to forgive, and to restore and to redeem. 

And when I realise what the reality of my sin is, the horrible, ugly reality… it makes the fact that He would run to me, welcoming me into His courts, washed whiter than snow, restored as His daughter… a more beautiful reality than anything this world could ever offer.

Anything.

Because when we realise that reality, really realise it, we can’t help but turn from our sin.

We fail, and we mess up, but our heart’s desire can’t help but turn from our sin, repulsed by our selfishness…

Because why would I want the temporary, fickle, unsatisfying, false pleasures of sin, when love like that is on offer?

How could I go back to what once was, now my eyes and my heart have been opened to the realities of His abundant and transformational love?

Real love.

God’s love.

Because God is Love.

Grace.

Costly grace.

That cost Him everything to give.

And that costs me everything in response.

He loves to show mercy.

It’s what He loves to do. The very essence of His nature and His righteousness and His tender, steadfast love.

That’s why Jesus says that the sinner who pleads for mercy in humility at the back of the church, goes home justified over the one who stands at the front and thinks they have it all sorted. (I’m very much paraphrasing Luke 18…)

 

Because in Him I am free.

It’s His mercy.

His.

And in that is life abundant.

No more bondage.

No more shame.

No more fear.

I am free.

 

Misty Edwards sings a beautiful song on her latest album. I guess the lyrics are like a modern rework of Psalm 51. 

I’ll leave them with you.

This is my prayer.

And I pray it is yours. 🙂

 

When You think of me

When You call my name

When You see my face

Let it be mercy

When thoughts of me

Come to Your memory

Of my story told

Let it be mercy


Don’t remember me according to my sin

But remember me with compassion

When my voice is heard around Your throne

Let it strike Your heart with love alone


When thoughts of me

Come to Your memory

Of my story told

Let it be mercy


When I stand face to face and look You in the eyes

See my heart, see my soul, and how I fought the fight

Blot out my sin when You look at me

Let my life be a treasured memory

 

When You think of me

When You call my name

When You see my face

Let it be mercy

When thoughts of me

Come to Your memory

Of my story told

Let it be mercy


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