I seem to have been talking a lot over these last few days in a variety of conversations about desiring more of God. Wanting to desire more of God. Wanting to learn, and lean and press in and discover more of God. Longing for Him to change me. To become more like Him as I gaze on Beauty. Desperate to have more perseverance in prayer, more joy in worship and love of the Word.
I’ve been captivated by the words of the Psalmist in Psalm 119.
There’s just so much desperation for God and His ways.
The seeking, the longing, the hope. The sheer delight in the Torah of God. The pursuit.
And I’ve also been reading some A.W. Tozer (what a legend!), which is always heart stirring.
I love this prayer. It articulates my own. Only in slightly-old English. 😉
O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am both painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.
And that’s the beautiful paradox. That the love and joy of peace of God completely satisfies us, and yet also makes us desperate for more of God. And in that is the truth that if we want to truly know God, we must give time to Him. As September begins, I am conscious that we are now over 8 months through this year. This year in which I have been tithing time to God in a different way and keeping this blog to capture something of the journey.
And I think this is where I have come to. In spending more time with Him each day, I have realised that it is possible to be both completely satisfied and yet completely desperate at the same time.
Is it always easy to give God consecrated time for 10% of the day? Of course not. But has it been worth it? Completely. He has changed and is changing me more than I could ever put into words. And I am falling more in love with Him. And tithing my time to Him hasn’t just changed that short 2 hour 40 minute segment of the morning. It’s changed the whole 24 hours. And made me long for more. He flows from my lips in conversations. He takes the preeminence in situations. And He gains the glory for Himself. Because it’s less about me, and more about Him.
I’m going to finish with another Tozer quote. Because it makes me smile. And it reminds me that the thought of worshipping our precious God forever and ever is my heart’s highest joy and greatest privilege.
I can safely say, on the authority of all that is revealed in the Word of God, that any man or woman on this earth who is bored and turned off by worship is not ready for heaven.
I want to love the things He loves, knowing that true worship is my response to His mighty life-changing-life-saving love.
That’s true joy. Truly.