To blog, or not to blog…

… Is the question I’ve just been debating.

Because today, to be honest, I didn’t really want to blog. And the thing is, when I started out on this year, I began this blog for my prayer partners and the people who I love who are dotted all over the world, and I wanted to map a journey of healing and joy and freedom. And I committed to blogging every day.

Which is what I have been doing. And what you’ve all been able to rejoice in with me. Through this crazy journey, to America, back to the UK, to Japan, back again, to now…

But honestly, this last week, I’ve been struggling to see the healing and joy and freedom. Some of you know, and know all too well… That it’s been hard. In a way that I really hoped life wouldn’t be hard for again… or maybe not for a little while.

And it’s tough, when everything is stripped away. When you are rejected by people you didn’t think you would ever be rejected by. When people believe the worst about you and not the best. And when the future suddenly looks a bit dark and cloudy again instead of light and clear.

So right now, in the absence of being able to pull anything witty out of the bag, and in the failure to be able to construct anything humorous from the day’s proceedings, I would just ask for your prayers.

For your prayers for my next steps, which I was so certain about a few days ago, and am now struggling to put the pieces back together. For your prayers for my hope, and that it would be renewed and found only in Jesus. And for your prayers that truth would prevail. And that the God who doesn’t judge by the things that man looks at would reveal hearts.

And even now, in this hard place, I trust Him. The same God who has always carried me, and always will. Even if it costs everything. I know where I am called. Japan still burns in my heart. And I will always follow Him.

But please pray.

Sorry guys, I probably should have asked a few days earlier… 🙂

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