Risk taking behaviour.

So in the last 24 hours, I have caught up with some incredible friends, eaten far too much and laughed-until-I-literally-couldn't-breathe. Last night I might have also *cough* watched 6 hours of the BBC's finest Pride and Prejudice (some people have told me there is no such thing. They are, quite frankly wrong… ;)) and had a quintessentially English Christmas, complete with Aga, open fire and sing-along-with-an-acoustic-guitar moments.

Almost absolutely perfect.

And a whole world of fun.

But also inspirational. Deeply inspirational. In the conversation. In the living-it-out.

Because I honestly, am so privileged to call some of the most genuinely passionate-for-Jesus and glowing-with-His-glory people friends.

I really am.

And I love the chance to share quality time and quality stories and quality testimonies about the God who is leading us and calling us in our every steps.

This last 24 hours we have talked about the next year. For each of us. The people that Holy Spirit is stirring us for. The places we are moving to or returning to. Whether that be America or Spain or Japan or England. The justice issues that burden us in prayer. The reality of doing church and the challenge of deeply loving people.

And the risk. To leave everything behind and follow Jesus.

Because steps of faith are scary sometimes.

Yes. We're actually in the safest-hold-the-cosmos-hands… But yet, it still feels like a risk.

A this-feels-uncertain risk.

Because steps of faith are scary sometimes.

I kind of think they should be. Because if we knew all the answers then it wouldn't be faith. We wouldn't be certain of that which we cannot see. We wouldn't grow. We wouldn't learn to trust. Not deeply. Not really.

Lots of people ask the question, 'Are you afraid?' when they hear you are giving something up or leaving something secure behind in order to follow the call of God. I've blogged about this before.

But, I've been talking with my like-hearted friends about how my greatest fear, bigger than my fear of the unknown, or my fear of man, is my fear of not doing what God has asked me to do.

My fear of just playing it safe.

Of staying where it's comfortable, rather than where it's right to be.

Of being distracted by the mundane, instead of pressing through to His purposes. Which are never mundane.

Of not following Him… Because I am afraid.

Of not trusting Him… When He calls me out of the water.

I have a greater fear of God than of anything else. Not in a bad way. He's not a scary distant figure that I can't come close to. He is the Heavenly Father who has done everything to be close to me and into whose arms I run. Always. But I also know that I will one day stand before Him, heart revealed in ultimate transparency.

And I long for Him to have found me faithful to His heart. To know that I followed when He called. And I gave up the things of the world when He asked. And I fought for justice when He said it was the time to fight. And I gave Him everything, completely, so that He could get glory out of a life poured out, forgiven and redeemed.

Have you every had those moments before when you pray so hard for an opportunity to share your faith with someone… And then God provides one… And you bottle it.

Or is that just me?

Honestly, we can make excuses or dress it up, but ultimately it's a fear thing and a courage thing. And a choice thing. And sometimes, it's a 'bottle it' thing. At least it is for me.

But I am praying that I can move past that.

And I guess that more and more I'm coming to the point, that I'd rather try and fail, than let fear keep me out of the game. I'd rather mess up and make mistakes desperately running towards God and into His purposes with everything I am, than sit stagnant on the edges because I'm too scared of the cost.

I want to be past that.


Because above everything else, I can feel His love.

And no one loves me like Him.

And here are some beautiful shots of some beautiful people. I am so blessed 🙂





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